Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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