I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize