Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she smelled like a LAN party
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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