Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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