Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
