You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
