I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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