he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
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Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
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Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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