A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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