yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize