i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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