No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
