i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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