this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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