Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
