smell my finger.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
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We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
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We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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