i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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