which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize