It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize