I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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