He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize