Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize