We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
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I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
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I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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