Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
