i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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