i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
