soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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