Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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