arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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