her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"