My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize