How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
