What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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