i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
