Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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