I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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