just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize