I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
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and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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