we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
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when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
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Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We are all done wearing pants today
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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