Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
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