he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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