Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
