We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
