I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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