I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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