a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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