I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
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