When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..