Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.