All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
