grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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