hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
